Q: I love your bedding in your guide to making the bed post. I see that you sew, did you make it? If not, do you mind me asking where you got it? I'm pretty much always on the search for the perfect bedding.
Thank you! I did not make it, it’s from Target. I’ve been ambivalent about it. Somehow it’s prettier in pictures than it is in real life.
A Simple Visual Guide to Making the Bed, a la UFYH.
Last night there was a lot of arguing over making the bed. Again. So I present to you this pictorial representation of bed-making:
"Letting the bed air out" made bed:
That’s it. It’s that simple. The only way that bed gets more air is if you strip it completely, and that’s more work than just making it so if you do that you’re probably not complaining about it anyway.
Yes, we do have a lot of pillows.
Q: What do you mean by muppet rave? DO YOU LIKE MUPPETS?
Who doesn’t like Muppets?
Um yes please.
Sewing room unfuckery
The guest room/sewing room always ends up being a “deal with it later” dumping ground. It’s the least necessary room in the house so it’s easy to shove things in there and forget about it.
But, my sister-in-law is moving in with us for a little bit, so the room not only had to be clean but it had to be not-full-of-craft-supplies. The closet was full of costumes and had to be at least half-emptied.
This was after my first 20/10:
And this is 4 days later:
I can only do 3 or 4 on the same room in a day before it starts to feel like a marathon. So it was probably a total of less than fifteen 20-minute cleaning sessions. Way less stressful than the last-minute cleaning marathon I probably would have done in the past.
Q: would you consider yourself feminist?
Feminist: One who supports the cause of feminism.
Feminism: The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
Pretty simple to support, huh? Man or woman. I think the only reason a person who believes in equality of the sexes would NOT call herself/himself a feminist is because of people who have distorted the perception of the word as a dirty and shameful label the past few decades. But if you reject the word based on how THEY have shaped the perception of it, in an insidious way, you’re letting them define you.
Go back to the REAL definition of the word, not THEIR distorted definition, and see if it is something you believe in. And can be proud to call yourself. Man OR woman. And go from there.
Because, if you break it down, if you are NOT a feminist, then you do NOT believe in equal rights for men and women. Is that what you believe? Or is it that you’re rejecting what the label has been distorted into?
It used to be that “geek” was a dirty word, too. A shameful label. Not anymore, thank goodness.
"Feminist" needs a transformation like that too. It’s overdue.
Cocktail Tiki Dress!
At last! A weekend of sunshine and someone available to photograph me.
So this dress had some interesting issues, not the least of which was my previously-documented inability to read directions. But even after I figured out which end was up (literally), I discovered another problem. I’d neglected to mark the grain line on the bodice pieces of my muslin. So when I cut it the first time, I lined up the pattern with the top edges of the pattern. That gave me this:
Okay, well, we’re tilting, but the pattern is lined up well and it balances and it might break up the monotony of the pattern on the skirt.
But just to make sure, I cut a second bodice lining up the pattern with the bottom:
And I just didn’t like this one as much. Also I really borked the pattern match along the center so it wasn’t going to look as good regardless. All my friends liked the angled bodice better, and I thought it might give me the illusion of more curves, so I went with it.
I lined the inside bodice with a pink Kona cotton for body. The rayon is super thin. Here it is with the gathering stitches in:
The pattern doesn’t say anything about how far down to put your gathering stitches and if there’s a marking for it on the original pattern it was not labeled as such. I had to do it twice to get the gathers correct.
I didn’t line the skirt because instead of the modified pencil skirt of the pattern, I made a faux-wrap skirt instead. But the rayon really does seem too light by itself and I’m considering adding some sort of lightweight lining to at least the back and possibly the underneath front panel.
Some photos of the inside. I haven’t done any seam finishing yet.
My zipper is kind of a hot mess. I put in a longer regular zipper and realized it was too long and too heavy for the dress. I had wonky zipper-lump on my butt. So I pulled it out and replaced it with a shorter invisible zipper … which I somehow managed to put in half wrong-way-around. After the third zipper application I was not in the mood to try to fix it again, but I think a little hand-sewing can even out the wobbly bits.
I think I must have stretched the top of the bodice some when I was sewing it, too, because it gapped weirdly under the arms. I had to take in the top at the zipper, which meant some improvising with the bias band in the back. I’m wider in the shoulders than my dress form is, though, even with padding. So it doesn’t gap when it’s on, at least.
And finally, some good pictures!
Q: Do you have any suggestions for how someone who is not female-identified could express or produce an environment that expresses the idea of, "I want you to be safe and happy and feel protected and autonomous," without acting with or presenting a savior complex?
1. Do it for the wellbeing of other humans and not for praise/reward. Respecting women is the bare minimum of human decency, not something for which you deserve a medal.
2. You’re not owed anything. Not sex, not attention, not time or effort, not automatic trust. You might know that you are completely harmless and well-intentioned, but remember that it is impossible for a woman to simply look at you and tell the difference between you and a violent hateful man. Do not resent women for their fear. Instead do all you can to make them feel safe.
3. Instead of insisting on derailing conversations with exceptions (“i’m not like that,” “only some men do that” etc.) LISTEN and EMPATHIZE with the frustrations and fears of the people having those conversations. They are talking about systemic problems and not you…unless your main concern is your own feelings and not the pain/fear/injury/deaths of women. Then you really are “like that.”
4. If you are a cisgender man, people - especially other men - will probably listen to you more readily than they will women. Acknowledge this privilege and use it. Elevate women’s voices and defend them.
5. But don’t conflate that with your voice or opinion being superior, necessary or even wanted. Sometimes it just isn’t. Know when to keep quiet and listen.
And now for something completely different
So still no photos of my Tiki Dress because the weather has not been cooperative and I want NICE pictures outside. But I did work on something else!
My friend had her baby a little early, so I had finish her gift asap. There’s not a lot of really cute patterns for baby boys, alas. But, I found this page while looking for baby boy projects.
So I whipped up some interchangeable bowties!
They attach with snaps, which anyone who actually listens to me might remember me ranting about. So probably no one.
It might be a few weeks before the infant in question actually fits into these - it was surprisingly difficult to get plain solid-colored onesies with no decoration, so I ended up having to buy a six-month size. In my baby experience, though, he’ll be wearing those in 3 months tops.